Tuesday, July 20, 2010

this ones for you, grandma

"Im proud you were mine Mo'"

I'm devistated to say that I have lost one of the closest people in my life
My dear grandmother Maureen, She suddenly passed away from a massive heart attack on
July 14th 2010, the rug under my family's life has been pulled from beneath us.
The glue that held a family together, who has already lost so much, I didn't understand why. Why someone who has been in my life since the day I was brought into this world is just gone, due to natural selection.
I had a falling out with her and we didnt speak for almost 2 years, until she had a massive asmtha attack and NEARLY died, back in march. I immediately contacted her and we reconnected. The first time we saw one another in that time period, was June 4the and the last time I saw her was July 4th, ironic? It was if nothing had ever happened and we only moved forward. And then I recieved one of the most horrible phone calls, "My grandma had passed away" I lost all of my strength for a few days. As the shock and denial began to fade away, I found a comfort zone. My spirituality has gotten me through these past couple days. She isn't gone, the shell that carried her through life is now gone. However the spirit within will never die. As cliche as it sounds, I never understood it or thought of it as actually being true, the body only holds the spirit so we can see, touch and hear them. Grandma I know your sitting in that empty seat next to me the first day of a new school year, I know your front row at one of my shows, I know you'll be at everything I wouldve needed you at while you were here, I just wish I could see you. "Through the ashes of a phoenix, rises something new." XXXO grandma mo'

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